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Berlusconi and the Pope are walking down a river, when the Pope's bible falls in the water. berlusconi walks on the water and he catchs the Bible. The day after L'Unità(the left wing newspaper)'s title is "BERLUSCONI CAN'T SWIM".
berlusconi dies and obviously he goes to Hell.
He meets the Devil and he says: mate, here it's so boring and grey. Why don't we put some music and girls with big tits, and lights...". The devil says: "Well, you're Berlusconi, it's your job. Do what you can". In 2 days the Hell becomes a kind of Las vegas and the Devil says: you're too good to stay here. And so he goes to Purgatory. But there he does the same and he's sent to Paradise. When he arrives he asks St. peter to meet God. "No more than 10 minutes" says St. peter. Berlusconi goes into God's office. After one hour St. Peter peeps thru and sees Belrusconi sitting in God's place and God saying: "I agree, I agree, but why do I have to be the vicepresident?".
Berlusconi goes to the bank, to change a 100 millions euros cheque. the employee says he needs to show his Id card. "I'm Berlusconi, can't you see it?" he answers. And the employee: yesterday Pavarotti came, he forgot his Id and to prove to be himself he sang "Nessun Dorma". So, do or say something to prove you're Berlusconi. "Well... I don't know... right now I could only say bullshit..." And the bankman: "Do you want 100 euros notes or smaller ones?"
Comments
Cos he heard George W. bombs crazy and criminal billionaires.
Berlusconi meets a old friend of his. He invites him in his house in Arcore. After a couple of drinks, his friends asks him: "Honestly, do you think you've been that good in life or you just were luckier than me?".
Silvio: "Honestly... "Honestly"? Could you lend me a dictionary?".
Berlusconi wants to know really how much people love him. So he goes to a litle village in Italy and he stops the first person he meets, an oldman with his bicycle. "Would you work for the communists?" he asks the oldman. And he answers: "No, for sure". "Would you work with me, then?". And the man: "I'd be the happiest man in the world". Silvio's eyes are sparkling. "What's your job, my friend?" he asks, and the man, smiling: "Undertaker".