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Dave works hard at the plant and spends two nights each week
bowling and plays golf every Saturday.
His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard,
so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says,
"Hey, Dave! How ya doin?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh no," says Dave.
"He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks
Dave ifhe'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,
"How did she know that you drinkBudweiser?"
"I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.
I always have a bud at the end of the first nine, honey.
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave,
starts to
rub herself all over him and says,
"Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab.
Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
Dave tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him
for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs,calling him every 4 letter
word in the book.
The cabby turns around and says,
"Geez Dave, you picked up a real bitch this time."
Comments
Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, "Dave! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!" Although impressed, Dave's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Dave that he thinks Dave's knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name! anyone else," Dave says. "President Bush," his boss quickly retorts. "Yes," Dave says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington." And off they go.
At the White House, Bush spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.
After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Dave. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a
long time." So off they fly to Rome. Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Dave says, "This will never work.
I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him, "What happened?" His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony, and
the man next to me said, "Who the f**ks that on the balcony with Dave?"
Great joke, but change one thing: the pope is German. The former pope was Polish !!