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The Bear Remover
A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in
the
yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers."
He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30
minutes. The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got
a
ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.
"What are you going to do," the homeowner asks?
"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going
to
go up
there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the
bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and
not
let
go.
The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage
in
the
back of the van."
He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.
"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."
Comments
We don't have much problem with the Sun Bears here in Malaysia but the Drop Bears in Oz were a real worry.
Most people think of Koalas as sleepy furry, perrenially pissed littly cuddly pets. However, koala testosterone is as strong as any. When living up near the Macedon ranges, I heard a commotion up the tree beside our house. Crying, more screaming like a kid, and deep growling and snarling.
A young male koala had strayed onto an old male's territory.
The big guy had then treed the little one, who was as high up the top twig as he dared go. The old koala was snarling and snapping at the young ones testicles trying to force him to fall off the top of the tree.
Life's tough in the Aussie bush!
Decisions like that aren't easy.
What happened?
Well of course I started to climb up the tree snarling and snapping and they both jumped off.
Spin
Don't kiss Dr Spin, you never know where his mouth has been.